How to Deep Fry a Turkey Safely

My favorite ever Washington Post editorial was this one, entitled "A Deep-Fried Thanksgiving Tradition," which was a sort of comic meditation on the dangers and attractions of the deep-fried turkey. It concluded:

To be fair, turkey-frying (which seems to be done mostly by men) reflects features of the national character for which we can, as a nation, be thankful: inventiveness, imagination, a desire for excellence in all things, including poultry, and an unconquerable individuality. Unfortunately, it’s also a procedure that requires a very un-American degree of preparation, attention to detail and patience: thorough thawing of the turkey, meticulous measurements of oil and volumes, careful placement of the frying apparatus as far as possible from the house and other combustible structures. All this by men who are just trying their hands at a little holiday cooking. It may be, as one recipe-writer on the Internet assures us, that deep-fried turkey is “worth the risk.” We think we’ll stick to conventional methods of preparation again this year, while still taking time to give thanks for all the benefits and especially the freedoms we enjoy, along with the things that sometimes accompany their exercise: fast, efficient fire and medical services, reliable insurance coverage and an abundance of back yards large enough to let us fry anything we care to.

Now, fortunately, a creative soul has solved the problem of safe deep-frying of turkey. It involves, of course, drones.