The Onion's "9 MUST-FOLLOW Al-Qaeda Leaders On Twitter"

Ritika Singh
Wednesday, June 5, 2013, 3:24 PM
I haven't given you all a Moment of Zen in oh-so-long, but fear not dear readers, I haven't abandoned you in your thirst for national security snark.

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I haven't given you all a Moment of Zen in oh-so-long, but fear not dear readers, I haven't abandoned you in your thirst for national security snark. Check out this slideshow from America's Finest News Source:
Khalid al-Habib (@The_REAL_KhalidAlHabib): A big name in social media circles as well as the Afghan war front, al-Qaeda’s top field commander is known for his ongoing Twitter feuds with moderate Shiites, the Muslim Brotherhood, and the 9/11 Truth movement.
Khalid al-Habib (@The_REAL_KhalidAlHabib): A big name in social media circles as well as the Afghan war front, al-Qaeda’s top field commander is known for his ongoing Twitter feuds with moderate Shiites, the Muslim Brotherhood, and the 9/11 Truth movement.
Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah (@abdullahsquared): The architect of embassy bombings in Dar es Salaam and Nairobi, this veteran al-Qaeda head has just recently joined Twitter, and his tweets are already making a big splash—he’s routinely RTed by such Twitter megastars as @Shaq and @aplusk.
Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah (@abdullahsquared): The architect of embassy bombings in Dar es Salaam and Nairobi, this veteran al-Qaeda head has just recently joined Twitter, and his tweets are already making a big splash—he’s routinely RTed by such Twitter megastars as @Shaq and @aplusk.
Abu Hasan al-Yemeni (@AbuLoves9_11): A true social media success story, this previous unknown was discovered on Twitter by al-Qaeda and hired on the spot for his radical anti-Western rants and popular Vine videos of infidel beheadings.
Abu Hasan al-Yemeni (@AbuLoves9_11): A true social media success story, this previous unknown was discovered on Twitter by al-Qaeda and hired on the spot for his radical anti-Western rants and popular Vine videos of infidel beheadings.
Abu Sufyan al-Azdi (@InfidelKillah): This Arabian Peninsula number two is credited with creating the wildly popular Twitter hashtags #YouMightBeAZionistDog and #ShariaLiving, though he curiously has not posted since January.
Abu Sufyan al-Azdi (@InfidelKillah): This Arabian Peninsula number two is credited with creating the wildly popular Twitter hashtags #YouMightBeAZionistDog and #ShariaLiving, though he curiously has not posted since January.
Abu Yahya al-Libi (@MrMujahideen): Al-Libi’s insights on IED-making and the current season of Mad Men have repeatedly landed him on “Best Tweets” lists on the Huffington Post, Happy Place, BloodOfHolyMartyrs.com, and Yahoo.
Abu Yahya al-Libi (@MrMujahideen): Al-Libi’s insights on IED-making and the current season of Mad Men have repeatedly landed him on “Best Tweets” lists on the Huffington Post, Happy Place, BloodOfHolyMartyrs.com, and Yahoo.
Andrew Parker (@AndrewNathanParker88): This citizen from the American heartland has steadily risen the ranks of al-Qaeda, making frequent cryptic remarks about the blood of believers and infidels mingling in holy fire on August 18.
Andrew Parker (@AndrewNathanParker88): This citizen from the American heartland has steadily risen the ranks of al-Qaeda, making frequent cryptic remarks about the blood of believers and infidels mingling in holy fire on August 18.
Saif Al Nahari (@caliphatboy): Kandahar Province represent! Al Nahari is proof that when it comes to breeding holy Twitter warriors, this southern Afghan region has it all over Riyadh.
Saif Al Nahari (@caliphatboy): Kandahar Province represent! Al Nahari is proof that when it comes to breeding holy Twitter warriors, this southern Afghan region has it all over Riyadh.
Jamal Ahmad Mohammad Al Badawi (@JAMABADAWI): His tweets may be very, ahem, opinionated, but that’s what we love about this Yemeni al-Qaeda associate who helped plan the 2000 USS Cole bombing!
Jamal Ahmad Mohammad Al Badawi (@JAMABADAWI): His tweets may be very, ahem, opinionated, but that’s what we love about this Yemeni al-Qaeda associate who helped plan the 2000 USS Cole bombing!
Larry Ellison (@larryellison): The Oracle CEO and high-ranking al-Qaeda operative is just as well-known for his multi-billion-dollar tech empire as his incisive, biting tweets urging the world’s militant Islamists to rise up and purge the world of the Western infidels.
Larry Ellison (@larryellison): The Oracle CEO and high-ranking al-Qaeda operative is just as well-known for his multi-billion-dollar tech empire as his incisive, biting tweets urging the world’s militant Islamists to rise up and purge the world of the Western infidels.

Ritika Singh was a project coordinator at the Brookings Institution where she focused on national security law and policy. She graduated with majors in International Affairs and Government from Skidmore College in 2011, and wrote her thesis on Russia’s energy agenda in Europe and its strategic implications for America.

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